Mama's Musings

Just one more game, Mom, pleeeeeeeaaaaaaaaassssse!

This is why video games scare me. It's like giving your kids cigarettes, but telling them not to get addicted. I'm willing to go to the grave being wrong about this one. Are my children's brains worth it? You bet.

Digital Gadgets and Kids

DisneyFamily.com conducted an online survey with over 11,000 parents about digital gadget usage amongst children. Check this out:

• Forty percent of respondents’ children have cell phones. Of those, 36% are responsible for paying all or part of their cell phone bill.
• Forty-eight percent of respondents age 25 – 34 said their child(ren) began using a cell phone at age five or younger.
• While 80% of respondents are worried about online safety, 26% of respondents’ children age eight or younger are allowed to access the internet alone.
• Eighty-one percent of respondents’ children have provided a personal email address to register for a site online; 69% have uploaded a photo online and 59% have used online chat/instant messaging.
• Forty-nine percent of respondents identified the internet as their first source of information about online safety.

Call me crazy, but these numbers scare me. I've seen the look in my kid's eye when she sees my cell phone. "Can I play a video game on it?" She loves our babysitter because her cell phone is so cool and has the best games.

Oh my.

Digital Mothering

How many of us moms rely on gadgets to grow the kids? I'm not sure. Yes, I have a cell phone, which I use for business so my mobile office makes me feel less guilty whilst standing on the soccer field sidelines cheering for my kids instead of working on behalf of clients. Other than that, I don't use a digital calendar because, quite frankly, I don't know how to get our WLAN working. So we've resorted to the paper kind you get for free at year-end when companies unleash their marketing tools to the kitchen walls across the nation.

Or PDA's. Nope, don't use one of those since I sold my Palm Pilot for a song on eBay.

But I do use a GPS when I drive my husband's car. But that's usually for business because my driving radius for the kids involves jaunts to the grocery store, athletic field or occasional stray friend's house who forgot where he lives and thinks lunch at our house is cooler anyway.

So I don't mother digitally. I wouldn't know how. Does hiding the remote control from the children so they limit their TV viewing count?

Weigh in. I want to know.

Why I love geeks

It seems to be a theme this week, but honestly, it's random. Except that it isn't because I just found out October is National Cyber Security Awareness Month. Internet safety for kids has been on my mind because my daughter is taking an introductory class about the Internet at the end of November. Part of me screams "Are you crazy? Why don't you just throw her to the wolves while you're at it!?", but another, more realistic, less emotionally unstable part of me agrees knowledge is power.

Then I found out about this really, really cool guide from GeeksOnCall which will support parents like you and me to arm ourselves with knowledge, too. GeeksOnCall is a service that helps home computer owners and small businesses handle all their data storage needs, including fending off viruses that seem to be perennial, and not just during flu season.

Just a snippet to show you how great this guide is. Did you know:

A recent study conducted by the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children revealed several
startling facts about Internet users between the ages of 10 and 17:
• 1 in 5 children is inappropriately or sexually solicited on the Internet.
• 1 in 33 children receives an aggressive sexual solicitation—someone who asks to meet them in real
life, calls them on the telephone, or sends them mail, money, or gifts.
• 1 in 4 children has unwanted exposure to pictures of naked people or people having sex.
• 1 in 17 children is threatened or harassed online.
• Less than 10% of sexual solicitations and only 3% of unwanted exposure episodes are reported to
authorities (such as law enforcement agencies, Internet Service Providers, or hotlines).
• Only 17% of youth and only 10% of parents can name a specific authority, such as the Federal Bureau
of Investigation, The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children’s CyberTipline, or an
Internet Service Provider, to which they can make a report.

Despite these daunting statistics, I'm introducing the Internet to my nine-year-old, but I know it is unavoidable. In way, it is yet another parental test. As always, we are asked to guide our children through the morass called life. For our generation, we are required to add the virtual world to that list.

Cool Tool for Kids

My nine-year-old has discovered the Internet so I was glad to hear about Kidzui, a free downloadable software/browser that allows access to 800,000 parent-approved Web sites. I'm giving it a try now. Although my daughter has very limited access, I know her interest will grow so this tool is great to know about.

Do keep in mind that in order to download, you need to meet the following specifications:

• Intel Pentium III 500MHz or faster processor
  Windows XP (Service Pack 2 or Later ) or Windows Vista
  Internet Explorer 6.0+
  Adobe Flash Player 9
  512 MB of RAM or faster
  High Speed Internet Recommended

Confessions of a Social Networking Junkie

St. Louis Dispatch reporter Tim Barker just read my mind. In his most recent article, he questions when social networking site membership becomes too much. Each site has its benefits, surely. But how much time do we spend on them? A British research group found workers were wasting upwards to 30 minutes a day on cyber-networking.

According to a 2008 survey by Chicago-based consulting firm, Challenger, Gray & Christmas, 23% of companies have started to block social networking sites so employees remain focused on the job. A reported 32.7% claimed these sites present a drain on worker productivity. Only a handful of respondents asked "What's MySpace?"

Oh dear.

Unlike many of my clients and friends, I love networking. Everybody has a story, and I love to  learn new things. People are the best way to experience a new side of life. Connecting with others makes you feel larger than yourself. You become a part of a collective. It gives you a feeling of singular purpose.

Having read Tim's article, sparked by Eve Tahmincioglu at MSNBC, I decided to take inventory of my own participation in so-called social networking sites. Snickering evilly at how much other people waste time mouse-clicking perfect strangers into friends, I was appalled by the actual number of memberships I have.

Xing

Ryze

LinkedIn

Flickr

Twitter

YahooGroups!

MamaSource

MySpace

Facebook

Plaxo

Unbelievable. I mean do I really spend that much time tracking down old college friends, schoolmates and potential research sources? Have I fallen into the trap Challenger and Co. so soberly portray as the Ultimate Time-Wasters of the Century?

Nah, I assured myself. But in case you're looking for a new friend, I've included my direct link on each of the above. Come on, try it! It'll only take a minute...

Why Does This Make Me Nervous?

30 hours of glorious off-line life. I promise to tell you all about the miraculous mountain climbing we just did tomorrow when I have a moment to download the photos.

But in the meantime - does Twitter's frequent shutdowns for maintenance make you nervous? I don't know why, but I find it unnerving. I have something witty to tell my friends, darn it! Why is the whale smiling at me with promises of future access?

From Blackboard to BlackBerry

If there's one thing my mom taught me, it was the power of communication. Back in the day we used a blackboard to communicate where we were. Quite often you'd see a note saying "Gone to the store," or "Blythe called". It was simple: no cables, hardware or batteries required. We didn't need special software to erase messages. In fact, the only erasing we did was an occasional swipe at the blackboard's surface to keep track of current news.

Today, technology has taken over. I know there are some time-saving qualities to having all these techno bells and whistles. You can Skype someone from around the world, check in at the office while enjoying the beach, listen to your favorite music while pounding the pavement for your health. It's all well and good. But where does it leave us?

This morning, for instance, I had a planned interview for a major US women's magazine. The writer is in  India, so I was unaccustomed to actually having to think at 8 am. Nonetheless, I mustered courage, downloaded the latest version of Skype, donned my headset, and realized our technology wasn't working (and neither was the reporter's phone). So we postponed the interview to a later time. But only after we Twittered, instant messaged and emailed one another. Connection without conversation. A strange thing, indeed!

Cursed headset! An hour later I had it working again. The problem? A little button hadn't been activated. It's moments such as these when I wonder if our lives wouldn't be simpler if we went back to the drawing board...with chalk.

What does my sage mother think? She recently replaced her blackboard with a BlackBerry. I'm still not over it.

Competitive Edge...or on the Edge?

Here I go again. Another diatribe about work-life balance. But I'm shocked at the number of people who bring their digital gear to the beach. Just watching people clutching their mobiles while wearing their Speedos makes me nervous.

Perish the thought.

But Credant Technologies' latest survey tells us 83% plan on bringing along their cell phones while on holiday. 33% plan on lugging their laptops, too. Yowzaa.

Are we a generation of paranoid workers who fear the world will crash if we unplug for a week? Whatever happened to unadulterated fun?

I admit I'll have my cell phone with me at the beach. But I won't turn it on unless I need to call 911. For everyone else, you're out of luck.

Cyber-bullying and other parenting nightmares

My nine-year-old has been introduced to the opium that the Internet is. Her American friend, who moved to our pastoral town a few weeks ago, showed her some cool Web sites with games and tokens and things. To the tune of $59.95 a year, she could even become a member.

Not.

So her persistent friend showed her another Web site, which is free. My argument wilted like a daisy in the July sun.

Okay, here's one for you. You can't because I use my computer to feed you. You like to eat, right?

Well, what about your laptop that you use when you travel? my daughter quipped.

Oh, you mean the dinosaur that barely boots up?

Uh huh.

MySpace has no space in my daughter's life. Yet. But I know kids, including my niece who lives in Virginia, who is rapidly being exposed to the Internet through school.

Worried about cyberbullying? You should be.

According to educator and digital expert Dr. Uma Gupta, "parents [need] to take an active role in monitoring the activities of their child on the Internet and to be prepared to take action on their own if their child is being cyber-bullied." Freedom of speech is pretty big in the United States, as well it should be since it is constitutionally protected after all. The lines blur quickly when it comes to a child's welfare. Is it okay to post mean things about someone for everyone to see? When is it slander?

I spent a good ten hours crafting a new chapter for a book I'm hoping to sell (soon). It discusses our compulsions, our poor relationship to time, and our cyberinsanity. I was hoping my kids would be spared.

It looks as though I was dead wrong.