October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and I will admit I have paid less attention to the issue than I should.
It took me a while to pick up this book that the folks at Amacom sent me. I'd like to claim it was because I had other priorities: a few TV show tapings; a sick child; a book tour to prepare for. Deep down I felt an acute sense of fear and denial about the subject. When I finally cracked the cover of John W. Anderson's Stand by Her: A Breast Cancer Guide for Men, I realized procrastinating about one's health is the worst thing you can do.
In his case, he had four women very close to him (his mother; his wife; his sister and his mom's best friend) who had breast cancer. His wife, Sharon, to whom he dedicates the book, happened to be working on a show about breast cancer awareness for Lifetime when she decided to get a 'quick' mammogram. Lucky for her, she did so just in time.
While there are quite a few resources for women about how to handle the battle against breast cancer, John lovingly offers his advice to his fellow man. With one in eight American women being told she has breast cancer every year, there are bound to be a few men affected, too. His book goes through the color of the rainbow, assigning colors to each of the stages of the 'war' against cancer. Émploying a very masculine tone, he calls the breast cancer patient the Commander-in-Chief who gets to tell everyone else what to do. It is extremely empowering to hear a man abdicate control and advocate listening as the very best thing he can do.
I also found it refreshing to read his advice about not asking what can be done, but simply doing it so your wife/girlfriend does not have to think for you. He advises sons to simply do the task instead of just offering to help. Although you are affected, this is not about you, he states.
I am extremely grateful for having read his book for its wisdom and devotion to teaming with your partner as you both enter what he calls Cancer Land. The key to navigating its territory is to stand by her with the tools the author lays out until the battle is won.
For more information, visit http://www.standbyher.org.
