My kids are at that age where they have started to like being home alone. To a certain extent. Mom has to run an errand? Without me! Dad's gone until 5 pm? Perfect. We've been able to get away to the theater on a Friday night once -- at the kids' request.
"You go have a good time. We're going to have fun kid time!" It was a win-win and bowled us over til Sunday.
I am actually quite confident my kids can handle a certain amount of home alone time. They know how to reach me or their father in case of emergency, we have plenty of neighbors who could lend a helping hand in immediate situations, and there comes a time when getting a babysitter to attend a parent-teacher meeting seems counterintuitive.
But when it comes to having friends over when we are not here or, for that matter, going to an unsupervised household at a friend's place, I remain firm. I let my daughter go to a friend's house without adult supervision for an hour before the mother came home once. It went fine, but that's because her younger brother (read: hyper-energetic bundle of boyness) wasn't there.
So when my daughter got invited to that same girl's house with the promise that her father would get home two hours after they did and the likelihood that the brother would be there, too, I asked to speak to an adult in the house. The mother got on the phone, not promising me her husband really would be home on time. "Who knows when he'll really arrive. He said 3 pm..." That's when I backpedaled. I explained I didn't think my daughter was up for it. She started to question every word I said until I cut off the conversation by saying "This is the third interruption in the last ten minutes. First, the chimney sweeper. Then a neighbor. Now this. I have to cook. Bah-bye now..." and I hung up the phone. I felt awful, but the woman just couldn't hear anything other than what she wanted to hear -- that her own kids wouldn't be alone all afternoon.
I talked to my kids about it. They agreed it felt strange to be in a situation that didn't feel safe. What truly matters is what my kids feel and think. The rest of the world can go jump in the lagoon!
