Mama's Musings

Save Lori's House

Even as I freak out about an enormous tax bill I just learned about that I owe to the German government for 2007, I learned of an even more tragic story that made my shock seem minimal compared to this one. Like Lori Steele, I have a seven-year-old son named Jackson. I am a freelance writer, just like her. Here's her story.

Lori Steele, a gifted freelance writer who has penned more than 3,000 articles for local, regional and national publications, mysteriously lost the ability to move her feet in September 2007. The paralysis later spread to her legs and arms. She eventually moved to a wheelchair and had only limited use of her hands for typing. Her inability to use her hands meant she was no longer able to continue her work as a freelance writer, which had been her sole means of supporting her and her seven-year old son, Jackson. Her mom, Shannon, moved up from Florida in February to care for both of them. Lori is now confined to a hospital bed and is dependent upon a Bi-Pap breathing machine. Doctors confirmed a diagnosis of Lyme Disease in April, but have since named ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease) as a prime suspect.

Please donate if you can. I just donated all my BlogHer ad commissions from April-September that just landed in my paypal account. Please consider doing the same. She's a mom, perhaps just like you...

Let's make it half a mil

Hey folks - you know I love literacy. I mean heck! What writer in her right mind wouldn't support reading? And since I love kids, children's literacy is even dearer to my heart. So here's the scoop. October 2, Jumpstart, an early education organization, is sponsoring a simultaneous reading-a-thon in which 400,000 low-income children will read the very same book (Corduroy). Sound like a coordinator's nightmare? It's not. And here's why.

Jumpstart has gathered powerful friends such as American Outfitters, Americorps, Pearson and Starbucks to chip in. And good ole Matt Lauer (who is sort of a friend of a friend) will be kicking it off on the Today Show, including celebrity guest stars including Jumpstart spokesperson, LL Cool J and award-winning actress Mary-Louise Parker and American pop/R&B singer-songwriter and actor, Jesse McCartney. 

Later in the day, actress Gabrielle Union, Shaun Robinson of Access Hollywood, Adam Gregory of 90210 and Lauren “Lo” Bosworth of The Hills will be reading in Los Angeles. Notable politicians, educators and community leaders will also be lending their support by reading at events throughout the country.

Thousands of events are being planned through grass roots efforts and official Jumpstart’s Read for the Record Campaign events will take place in major U.S. cities including Atlanta, Boston, Chicago, Los Angeles, New York, Pittsburgh, San Francisco and Washington, D.C.  The Campaign will create the world’s largest “shared reading experience” as children and adults read this year’s official campaign book, the beloved children’s classic Corduroy by Don Freeman, published by Penguin Young Readers Group.

Anyone can register to read on October 2, get their own copy of Corduroy and donate copies of Corduroy to children in low income communities through Jumpstart’s Read for the Record site.  The Pearson Foundation, Sponsor and Founding Partner of Jumpstart’s Read for the Record, will match each online book donation or purchase and deliver books to children in at-risk communities. Custom editions of Corduroy are also available for purchase at Hanna Andersson retail stores, catalog and website.

Oh, and let's make it a half a million!!

Stop the Abuse

What do purses, Allstate insurance and domestic violence have to do with anything? October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. According to the Click to Empower Web site,

One in four American women have experienced domestic violence directly, and more than half of all Americans (56 percent) say they have at least one friend, relative or co-worker whom they know has been involved in domestic violence, according to studies conducted by the U.S. Justice Department and Liz Claiborne, Inc.

Research shows that women with basic financial understanding and skills are more likely to leave abusive situations and sustain themselves and their families on a long–term basis. Although the problem is widespread, domestic violence remains a taboo subject in conversations.

So what can you do about it? Click here.

To motivate you (not that you need it, I'm sure), you can also enter to win a purse donated by Ugly Betty star Ana Oritz.

You can also:

• Pass It On—Spread the word to your gal pals that domestic violence touches all of us and it can happen to anyone. Let your gal pals know that financial abuse is part of domestic abuse. Click here to "Tell a Gal P.A.L." via email about domestic violence and economic empowerment.
• Act—Small acts make a big difference. Encourage your gal pals to actively plan for a secure financial future. Start a savings plan for emergencies or get a copy of your credit report. Click here for tips on rebuilding your financial future and signs of domestic abuse.
• Learn—Learn about resources available to help yourself, or someone you know, get out of an abusive situation. Take steps to protect your personal and financial safety, whether you’re in an abusive relationship or not, and empower yourself. Click for more information on understanding domestic abuse and find available resources to get help for yourself or others.
• Donate - Through a partnership with the non-profit organization Dress for Success, select Allstate agencies across the country will collect nearly new purses and professional bags now through October 3. The donated items will be distributed to domestic violence survivors and women in need to outfit them with confidence they enter or re-enter the workforce and get back on their feet financially.

Be a friend, not silent.

Gone for a week - left for eternity

Have you ever left your house in the hands of your capable husband and two children, only to beseech the Powers That Be to help you handle the fall-out? I swear I left the house with a full fridge and clean children. I came back to an atomic explosion all over the living room, laundry room, and kitchen counters. Week-old smudge prints I may have left on the oven myself glared at me with vitriol. The cobwebs danced from the drafty rafters.

I had only been gone a week.

It's not as if I left in a whirlwind. The childcare layout alone would have made any architect's head spin. Constructed with back-up support in case something fell through, I felt confident as I breezed out the door at 6:30 am to catch my US-bound flight.

See you on Wednesday morning! I gleefully shouted up the stairs. The children, still drunk with sleep, showed no resistance as I left.

As I tooled down the road towards the airport, I happily recounted the morning's brief events. They smiled! They were calm. The kids are so well-adjusted! I congratulated myself. Boarding the plane a few hours later, I began to wonder if their contentment had more to do with their excitement that I, and the thumb under which they usually reside, had been temporarily lifted into the sky. It occured to me that perhaps ruling with an iron hand wasn't the way to go.

If you've ever parted from your kids for a week, you'll know what happened next. I started feeling a sense of remorse and marrow-deep missing I normally don't feel because, quite frankly, I'm always around. I promised myself I would never, ever raise my voice again. After all, aren't those children just the sweetest things? The more time passed, the more I yearned for their presence. It was all I could do not to jump down the bus driver's neck as we raced towards the satellite parking lot at the airport a week later.

The car started without a hitch and before I knew it, I was back at home to the same sleeping household I had left, except for the stench of the unaired house that curled my nose hairs. The sticky kitchen counters looked at me sadly. Mail had piled up, virtually unopened. The kids walked down the stairs, much as they had the week before, looking at me sleepily. The look of contentment had left their eyes. I saw only relief and joy that I was finally here.

Gone for a week, but left for an eternity. No matter how you plan it, no one is prepared for the fallout...or the love upon return.

Book Review: Cole Family Christmas

Cole Family Christmas is a delightful story about a coal-mining family of eleven in the Appalachian Mountains who learns that love and togetherness far surpass material things. It’s a story similar to the O'Henry's Gift of the Magi in which one’s most prized possession take on a new meaning when you give them away.

The humble family with nine children tightly embrace the importance of listening and respect as they struggle to make ends meet in the harsh climes in the Kentucky mountains. The co-authors, eighty-eight year old Hazel Cole Kendle, on which her true story is based, and her granddaughter-in-law Jennifer Liu Bryan, write with such beauty that you can feel the cold drifting up from the frigid floorboards. You can smell the food Mama cooks and sense the coziness in the tiny kitchen as her children help her prepare each family meal.

In this tightly written story, the authors do a great job developing the characters, a none too easy task in a seventy-five paged illustrated book. An inanimate object, even the Sears catalogue wish book takes on a life of its own as the centerpiece of the children’s lives in the story.

Aside from the lessons of love the reader learns, another significant message is conveyed: the importance of recording family history. Genealogists and parents alike will love Cole Family Christmas for its uplifting quality and its gentle reminder of the true meaning of Christmas.

Back to School Blues

I have creaky brain. I mean really creaky. Lord help me if I lived in the States where the kids are off for almost three months. I wouldn't remember how to tie my shoes because I wouldn't be wearing any all summer.

It's back to school here in the Hohlbaum household, and I'll tell you I've worn a mask of jovality all day. Okay, at least when the kids were around.

"Isn't this great?" I rejoiced at breakfast, pretending to ignore the grey-stoked sky. "You get to learn new things, meet new people, have great experiences and wear new clothes!" I expounded. The kids got riled up (they resemble Cocker Spaniels -- easily excitable and all over you in a second if you let 'em). I tucked their tongues back in their mouths and drove them to school in the driving rain.

"Have fu-hun!" I sang, waving them into the building. I stroked a tear from my cheek. Back to life. Back to real-i-ty...sadness washed over me like the Adriatic waves we had just visited.

Dag. Back to school sucks.

Budapest rocks

We returned late afternoon on Friday. I know I've already written about Budapest in a previous post, but these pictures are a must-see. As I mentioned, Budapest is full of gorgeous architecture, including thermal baths:

It also has a very obvious Western component to it:

It's the most gorgeous McCafé I have ever seen. Then there's Dove, of course, that has made its mark worldwide. Here's the proof:

To prove it wasn't all work and no play, I have two pictures proving we attended a wine festival in the castle district. What an unforgettable experience to stroll over the cobblestones amidst the dimly lit castle grounds with thousands of other Hungarian visitors.

  So much wine, so little time!

Generation Text and Instant Everything

If you've ever wondered how to deal with the constant challenges of excess and technological access while raising your kids, you'll want to read Generation Text: Raising Well-Adjusted Kids in an Age of Instant Everything. As the title reveals, this generation's challenges are vastly different from those of former generations. Kids can shop, socialize and entertain themselves 24/7. Gone are the test-screen moments when they simply couldn't watch TV. Even if they don't get many channels, they can always tune in to TV via the Web.

Dr. Michael Osit faces the challenge by addressing current parenting issues in a digital age. Generation Text offers parenting advice with some common sense suggestions such as gadget-free family meals, TV and PC-free bedrooms and limits on cell phone usage and the like. He also highlights the unprecedented benefits of technology, thereby addressing the upside of some computer games and applications. Simply put, kids still need limits in order to feel safe, and parents need to understand current dangers to make sure they are setting the right ones.

Because I am writing my own book about our relationship to time, I found this book to be of particular interest from an 'instant everything' perspective. Our children's time perception is very short. As Dr. Osit writes, have you ever felt "the need for speed in order to compensate for the distraction delays" our gadgets bring?

What was most interesting in the book were the case studies of children and teens who had an overblown sense of reality - screaming into the phone, demanding your mom's credit card number to buy yet another expensive hockey stick online? The mother complies merely to allay her own guilt for leaving her kid home, again.

It's an amazing world in which we live. It is a place in which instant gratification isn't fast enough. Thankfully Dr. Osit's very readable Generation Text helps us parents navigate the quagmire with humor and resolve.

Mini Man turns 30

Okay, so it's actually the minifigures from LEGO whose birthday was the day before my son's. You know the adorable action figures that can be assembled in 8 quadrillion little ways? I'm not kidding. And because I know you love trivia, I'm including a few fun factiods about these figures, who have their own Web site, too. Happy 30th Birthday, dudes. Thank you for enriching my childhood and that of my own kids, too!

 Minifigures represent the world’s largest population, more than 4 billion people strong, making it 3 times larger than China, 12 times larger than the United States and 120 times larger than Canada.   
 Globally, 3.9 minifigures are sold per second, 365 days per year.  That’s an average of over 122 million per year! 
 There are more than 8 quadrillion (8,181,068,395,500,000) possible combinations of minifigures that can be made using all of the unique parts over the last 30 years.
 Film stars and comic heroes started to appear as minifigures in 1998 with LEGO Star Wars™; only two real people have been represented in minifigure form multiple times (Answer found on www.GoMinimanGo.com)
 The standard minifigure is four LEGO bricks tall and has just over 970 degrees of movement.
 Of all of the minifigure’s roles, the police officer is most popular, with 41 different versions appearing in 104 sets over the last 30 years.

1983 was a very good year

As you people rev up for back to school, remember this: 1983 was a very good year. I remember it well. It was a time when my friend Cherish and I discovered boys. We spent hours filling out applications we had stolen from the local drugstore to win a free car. Aside from ballot box stuffing, we danced between being little girls and being big ones. Needless to say, we didn't win.

It was also the year the Chicken McNugget was introduced, McEnroe won Wimbledon, the movie The Big Chill was released, and Cabbage Patch Kids were everywhere.  My short-lived romance gave me one that wore camouflage. It was very short-lived.

This September marks the 25th Anniversary of the cultural phenomenon and the milestone will be celebrated with a limited edition series that match the original 1983 design and style.  So dust off your scrunch socks and poodle hair-do. The Cabbies are back. But please. Leave your cammies at home.

Available everywhere this September 9th.