Many of you may be what seems like light years away from what is commonly referred to as Empty Nest Syndrome. It sets in when your children leave the nest for their own pursuits, whether for a new job, college or hitting their thirtieth birthday (you're outta here, buddy!). I speak from experience when I say the days are long; the years are 
short. Okay, so I paraphrased some sage person who said it first. Nonetheless, I'm glad to know Natalie Caine, Empty Nest Syndrome expert and all around fantastic advisor in all things 'empty and ready for renewal'. Her top 20 list on what to say when your kids come home for the holidays is simply brilliant. With her permission, I list them here:
A little email or short chat on the phone before the children arrive sets the tone for the holidays and acknowledges the changes in all of your roles.
Here are some things you might wish to share with your children before they return home:
1. I am so excited to see you.
2. I know you have been on your own and without an authority figure.
3. I have discovered a new freer routine for me.
4. We all are changing our roles and awkward in the practices.
5. You and your friends must be so excited to be with each other again.
6. Grandma, Grandpa and your brother and sister can’t wait to see you and they know you need time to veg out, sleep, and see friends.
7. Hopefully you will have time to schedule your doctor appointments and other things you want to get done while you are here.
8. Ok good news….no curfew
9. Ok bad news…park the car on the street since you come home later and we have to get out the door before you.
10. Keep the night noise of talking on your phone and playing music to a quiet tone.
11. Turn out the lights.
12. Do your own laundry.
13. Put the dishes in the dishwasher.
14. Don’t hog the remote.
15. If you don’t see it in the refrigerator write down what you want before you or I go to the market. It is not funny to put those empty milk cartons back in the frig.
16. I know your plans will change like not coming home for a meal, so text us or call to give us a heads up.
17. Please don’t leave the gas tank on empty.
18. Print this email and read it before you walk in the door or don’t worry there will be a copy on your bed. No, I did not change your room or rent it out.
19. Let me hug and kiss you and fuss over you. Yes, I know you aren’t a child anymore, but I am still your mom.
20. I will lower my expectations on how the holidays used to be. I won’t let the little things ruin our time together. Let’s just clear the air in seconds rather than long talks if something does come up.
For more information how to handle Empty Nest Syndrome, visit Natalie's site, Empty Nest Support.
