Mama's Musings

US Civics 101

My knees are knocking as the day nears for our mega trip to the US with the kids. We're taking six airplanes to various locations over the course of a month. We've never been back to where the kids were born since we moved to Europe so we're thrilled to show them all the old haunts, and some new ones, too.

In preparation for our trip, I got civic on my kids. I suddenly felt the impulse to share them all fifty states, the forty-three US Presidents from George W to George B and teach them exactly whose faces show up on Mount Rushmore.

Mount, what?

Yeah, we have a lot of work to do.

Brian Thornton has done every expat American mom a favor by actually making learning  such things fun. In The Everthing Kids' Presidents Book and The Everything Kids' States Book, we've learned the oddest trivia (the majority of limestone used in US buildings stems from southern Indiana and President Taft was by far the largest President, weighing in at 350 pounds) with at-a-glance descriptions of Everything you've ever wanted to know and then some. The friendly format, puzzles, quizzes and colorful pages are a must-have for every kid who might not know how great America truly is!

On Fire for LEGOs

The more toys my son has the smaller his already impossibly small room gets. Despite my efforts to cleanse his room of odds and ends on nearly a weekly basis, it seems to do little good. We tried moving some of his most favorite toys upstairs, until I stepped on a particularly sharp (plastic) object one night. We then instilled a ban on all playthings in the family room.

That is, until my son got the LEGO Fire Station. Call me crazy, but the three hundred little pieces didn't bother me the moment I opened the box. Perhaps it was the glow my son's eyes cast on the packaging. He was in love.

What started out as an idea to keep him busy for an hour while I fixed a software installation issue on my computer, ended up being a wonderful family project. Life surprises us like that as we struggle to do our best. We think things will end up one way, and oftentimes, unplanned, they end up completely differently, but even better than expected. He got me away from the computer time and again until I finally ditched any thoughts of dinner, called the pizza delivery guy, and set to work to create a new playworld for my son.

My husband got home early (it was our children's last day of school, which ends the last week in July in Bavaria) so we headed upstairs to finish our fire station project. My almost six-year-old son took the lead, enthralled by the little pieces and sometimes challenged by the instructions. Nonetheless, he independently worked on the rescue vehicle while my daughter and I tackled the fire truck. At first, ee mumbled under this breath that he wasn't good at building things. Oh yeah? LEGO Fire Station proved he could do it. It makes me cry to think how much of a boost he got in his confidence by completing such an elaborate building in one day.

My husband put together the station, then we moved it all to the family room for more fun the next day.

With other toys that require assembly, my kids seems excited by putting it together, then leave the toy unnoticed thereafter. The LEGO Fire Station has elicited a different reaction. They love the assembly AND playing with it, too. In fact, we had to convince our son to go to a playdate he has been anticipating for months today, simply because he did not want to part with his new toy. I'm certain he's going to want the other LEGO CITY toys, too. As I eye my son's room, I figure we can always have a yard sale or, more drastically, move to a bigger house. After all, there are few toys I can remember more distinctly from my childhood than LEGOs. Can you?

World Wide Web, Teen Angst, and Protective Measures for Parents

Sunday, 10 a.m.

"Mom, can I surf the Internet?"

"No way."

My eight-year-old pouts for a moment, then busies herself with the books laid out before her. It is the first weekend of summer vacation, and she's already bored.

While many parents in the United States proudly tell me their three-year-old can type better than they can, I have been resistant to allow my kids anywhere near my computer, much less near the World Wide Web. Having fallen prey to several predatory characters myself, I wish to shield my kids from these types of interactions for as long as possible. As their friends become more and more Internet savvy, it is an inevitable development we have to face sooner than later. Conscious enjoyment is a life tool my kids will need. Luckily, I've found several great resources to help us along.

Logged On and Tuned Out: A Non-Techie's Guide to Parenting a Tech-Savvy Generation by Vicki Courtney is a fantastic guide to teen social networking sites, Instant Messaging etiquette and cell phone usage teens employ every day. I had no idea, for instance, that teens no longer sign each other's yearbooks. Instead, they sign each other's Facebook 'Walls'. The amount of monitoring Vicki suggests sounds daunting and, in this day and age of Internet anonymity, imperative.

She has a very strong Christian point of view which, for some, might be off-putting. Nonetheless, her commitment to children's safety on the Web is real and very encouraging (see her Web site for more). She reveals, perhaps unwittingly, a lot about her own political and religious beliefs throughout the book (Teen Virtue Confidential: Your Questions Answer About God, Guys, and Getting Older is another one of her works, a magabook with Christian-based answers to loads of teen issues). But she brings up  a lot of great points: Miss Nevada 2007 had to abdicate her pagent throne due to silly photos of her kissing a girl that had been posted on the 'Net years before. Another girl, who had fallen in love with a Christian man, was shocked at the level of her boyfriend's mother's Internet search which revealed old, cached sites she had thought long removed.

The Internet has the memory of an elephant and the effect can be devastating. As Vicki says, it will be interesting to see what dirt this generation of politicians dig up on each other.

One way parents can avoid the Internet trap altogether is to put a prophylactic 'shell' on the computer's hard drive. NoodleNet is an innovative software that jives with your computer's operating system to allow your child to safely explore the Internet on pre-approved sites. Unlike most parental control software, this one will not let you in nor out of the prefabricated shell so if you click on an ad with Big Bird, you won't got to a non-approved site that could unleash your child into the Wild Wooly Web. It creates a gated community, as it were, and appears to be one of the tightest control software available today. When chatting with NoodleNet President Michael Callahan, I came to learn the software works best on newer computers. Check the Web site to be certain your computer has the correct parameters.

Facebook monitoring or gated communities on the 'Net -- whichever you decide just know you're not alone. As Vicki Courtney suggests, we help our kids make smart choices by defining 'stranger danger' and 'friend' in a whole new way.

Forget Prozac - Try YogaFit Kids!

I could hear them from the garage twenty feet away. All the windows were closed; the door was locked. The neighbor's lawn mower whirred in the distance. And still I could hear them.

Coming back from the grocery store, I lugged boxes of food back and forth, calling out to the wild animals inside. My son opened the door on all fours.

"Woof."

It was time for drastic measures. Remembering the YogaFit Kids! DVD and pose deck set I had received recently, I gathered the three-ring circus in the living room and issued a few commands.

"You, Lion Tamer, get the yoga mat! You, lizard/seal/camel person, grab the remote."

We popped in the DVD (sadly, a crime I've committed all too often to calm my kids down), only this time I knew it would be good for them. We listened to Stephanie Adams, an international master trainer for YogaFit  and an obvious powerhouse both inside and out, tell us about the benefits of yoga.

Get better at soccer? My six-year-old son's ears perked up.

Learn to focus better? My eight-year-old daughter cast me a knowing look.

The thirty-minute presentation was broken down into three parts -- an introduction to yoga itself; an introduction of the adorable YogaFit kids who've obviously been doing this a while and their active poses; and a post-program follow-up with Stephanie for parents interested in learning more.

The active part of the program was again broken down into threes -- since my children have only done yoga a handful of times, I was grateful for the structure so they knew more or less what to expect. Stephanie was great at keeping my kids focused and on task, even when it got difficult. My son's face twisted in pain at parts, especially during the forward bend.

"If it hurts, don't do it," I advised. "Just know it's something to work on for next time." They both shot me looks like there would be no next time.

That is, until afterwards, when the three-ring circus had been recharged and more balanced into a harmonious duo. A brief discussion about why my daughter might dislike yoga ensued. We discovered, together, that yoga confronts her bad feelings.

"Why hang on to them?" I asked.  "You might find yoga helps you actually release them."

We got through our ensuing lunch without a hitch and even harvested a few kisses from our otherwise ill-tempered daughter. Yoga may just be the key to smoothing out her pre-pubescent nature. In fact, I know it will be!

Those Things that Move Us Most

Two of the most traumatic things that have happened to my kids in their short 6 and 8 years on this planet have been losing a pet and moving. Childhood is great, until life gets in the way. No matter how much we try to shield them and navigate their way to young adulthood without too many brambles and falls, things happen.

In all honesty, our international move from Somerville, MA, to a little town outside of Munich, Germany, was more traumatic for me than for anyone else. Unless you consider my then 17-month-old son waking up at night shrieking for weeks on end until we showed him the winter sky and pointed to the stars.

"You are here with us. You're not anywhere else..."

Enter The Playdate Kids: Danny is Moving by Annie Thiel, PhD, a brilliant book in which a little boy moves with his mother to a new town. He discovers his sadness (by using his words, thank you, Dr. Thiel!) and new friends along the way. I wish I had owned this book back in the days of shrieks and tears. Most likely, his 17-month-old mind would not have absorbed its message. In the end, the stars did just fine.

The Playdate Kids: Chloe Loses Her Pet, also by Annie Thiel, PhD, was a more timely book as their beloved Black Lab, Pup-pup gave in to her 14-year-old arthritic body at my mom's house in Virginia. Although the miles separated us, our hearts bled the day we found out about her passing. Chloe Loses Her Pet, a year later, was the necessary balm for our souls. My voice wavered at the end of the book in which Chloe heals and welcomes a new pet into her heart. Even my son used his words, saying he'd be sad if his pet guinea pig died. I'm glad to have this book now the day we face that challenge.

Baby: An Owner's Manual (for some)

Baby: An Owner’s Manual, written by veteran pediatrician Bud Zukow, M.D, and his co-author Nancy Syles Kaneshiro, looks at 365 questions and answers to virtually every question a new parent could possibly have. It is laid out in a very readable format and is, in some places, entertaining.

The authors’ brief answers are sometimes dissatisfying (telling a new mom to get away from her baby the first chance she can get is not comforting nor does it address the anxieties almost every new mom feels) and controversial ("…the whole trick of adjusting to parenthood is to find out how fast you can separate from the baby."). Hmmm…not sure where bonding fits in here.

While many of Dr. Zukow’s answers are within fair range, some of his responses are clearly his own opinion such as keeping the newborn in a crib elsewhere or his take-it-or-leave-it attitude about breast-feeding. In many ways, the book reads like a justification for a certain type of parenting (feeding at intervals versus on-demand; reacting to your baby’s tears spoils them, etc). At the risk of sounding politically incorrect, this book isn't for everyone.

Bed bouncing and Big Red Dogs

It's funny how time heals all wounds. At the time of our house renovation, in which the City of Somerville deleaded our home with the help of an innovative zero-interest loan, I thought I would go crazy if I had to stay at the Holiday Inn with my then infant son and bouncy three-year-old daughter another minute. They jumped on the bed (well, Sophia jumped. Jackson tried not to bounce off and frequently tipped over and on top of his head) while watching TV. The sweltering July heat added to our boredom. After 9 am the heat was so unbearable we avoided going outside. So we were left to our own devices and Clifford, The Big Red Dog.

After checking out three times as required by the City so we didn't incur 'unnecessary charges', we were told each time by the supervisor that our house did not pass inspection, yet. We'd go to the library (in search of Clifford books) and dodge the rising temps at the local mall. By 3 pm, we were typically out of ideas. That's when we'd march back to another assigned hotel room, flip on the tube and watch Clifford some more. For those of you who know this PBS show, the late comedian John Ritter was his voice for many episodes.

Clifford represents something more than a friendly animal that guides children through teachable moments wrapped in big red fur and a benevolent smile. He represents a time in my life when I needed comfort, too. These two books are particularly dear to my heart:

Clifford, The Small Red Puppy, which tells of the dear dog's origins of how he grew on account of Emily Elizabeth's love and how they ended up on Birdwell Island with the rest of the gang.

Clifford Takes a Trip, a story about Clifford saving the day yet again. Despite the fact that he's left with the neighbors while the family takes a trip, Clifford's loneliness takes the upper hand. He saves Emily Elizabeth in the nick of time from a defensive mama bear who wants to protect her young.

The accompanying audio on both these books brings the stories to life. It is a relaxing way to spend a few minutes reading along with your child. And it reminds me that bouncing on the bed with your friends is indeed a great way to spend the afternoon.

Christine's New TV Channel

Women Rule...even if they don't run the world (yet)

This is dedicated to all the sisters out there who never interpret the word 'no' to mean the death of possibility.

Yahoo News recently revealed that women actually have more control at home than people thought.

Anyone who's seen a woman at work would have one word for you: duh. But it's not the reason you think. It has more to do with the fact that we women simply get sh*t done. My boss knows it. Heck, he even tells me so.

Control at home, however, does not mean you have control over your life. In fact, we often run ragged, serving the needs of others without much respect or praise. I can express exhaustion in several languages. Ich bin so erschöpft. Je suis rendu de fatigue. I am so exhausted. The swollen eyes of the mother whose toddler kicked her in the gut behind the heads of lettuce today at the supermarket told me what no spoken language can -- I am experiencing marrow-deep exhaustion for what I do every day. There is hope, and it comes in the form of one little pink book.

Shelly Rachanow has penned one of the most delightful, empowering books I have read in recent history. Or should I say herstory? If Women Ran the World, Sh*t Would Get Done: Celebrating all the Wonderful, Amazing, Stupendous, Inspiring, Butt-Kicking Things Women Do reminds me of the The Bad Girl's Guide to Getting What You Want, but with a much more mature tone. It's especially for mothers who've lived beyond the circle of 'I' to mesh their selves into the fabric of 'we'. It truly celebrates amazing women in history, as well as people like you and me, who have and are the best girlfriends in the world. When I pulled out the book from its packaging, I giggled gleefully at the title all over again. We women, who span our lives between work, family, social obligations and credit card bills, deserve to be on eye-level with everyone else (read: men).

The fun empowerment exercises and quips à la Pat Schroeder ("I have a brain and a uterus, and I use both.") will have you roaring on the floor with laughter and tears. It will make you want to run out and buy a copy for that girlfriend who watched your kids so you could go do something amazing (like mine did so I could attend the Cannes Film Festival). Some of the most profound women of our day (Oprah, Nancy Brinker, founder of the Susan G. Komen Foundation, and more) are highlighted. I was humbled at the greatness we all possess as a gender. It made me want to hug that woman at the grocery store who was too tired to even return my smile. Next time I see her, I'll be sure to press a copy of If Women Ran the World into her weary hands...

Lego Creation Nation - Get Your Kid's Head in Gear

If you're worried about your kid's creativity having gone soft over the summer, you haven't visited LegoCreationNation.com yet.

LEGO, that fine manufacturer of tiny blocks to design homes, airplanes, automobiles and structures, is hosting a Creativity Awards Essay Contest. The essay contest, which has been running all summer, is open for children ages 6-13 in Canada and US (dag -- my kids would have had great fun doing this one!).

Children are asked to submit essay responses to showcase their creative talent. Ten winners will receive $5,000 awards and the LEGO Children’s Fund will donate $100,000 to a non-profit that has shown their own creativity in the community. You need to submit your essay by September 17.

Visit LegoCreationNation.com and click on the Creativity Awards link for more information. Just think of all the Legos you could buy with the prize money!