Mama's Musings

Birthday Bliss

Today is my birthday, and I feel really happy. The kind of happy that is unattached. It feels good to be alive, even when it is sometimes painful to go through life's lessons. Gratitude is what I feel for the very good people I know. I'm even grateful for the not-so-nice ones who may have given me the snub. It is a part of life's path, too. I am blessed in so many ways to be connected with so many.

So thank you, world. Thank you for the warm wishes and dancing dandelions in my yard; thank you for the meaningful lyrics from artists like Alanis Morissette, who reside deep in the wells of human emotion for all of us to see, feel, taste, touch and smell. Thank you for the triumph and the sorrow, too. They are both pieces of the puzzle we create for ourselves. Illumination comes from darkness. May we all know what it feels like to dance in the light.

Eggs Not Hatching

"Don't count your chickens before they've hatched!" my mama used to warn me as I would spastically run around the house, overjoyed about this thing or that. It would be misleading to suggest my mother was a party-pooper. She certainly was not when I was a kid. She believed in me so much I sometimes wondered if I could live up to what she already knew I could do. On occasion, however, she'd try to shield me from the inevitable disappointments that life sometimes brings.

Yesterday I experienced a brief loss in credibility. I counted my chickens before they were clucking around the pen. They had barely been laid in egg form before I boasted to a few colleagues.

"Yeah," I said, trying to sound casual. "NPR contacted me about this thing..." It was a segment they were doing on blogs and why moms have them. They needed a last-minute guest and asked me. I frantically tried to get back to the producer who had sent the e-mail four hours prior. I had been out galavanting about Munich with a Hollywood screenwriter and a few TV producers. Needless to say, I got back to the NPR producer too late. She had already filled the slot.

But I didn't know that until I tried to contact her in various ways. My cool attitude turned to panic as I realized the deal may not have been done after all.

It was not.

After a miserable evening of pouting even my hot bath and candlelight couldn't alleviate, I felt much better once I got eight solid hours of sleep.

Why do we wear ourselves out like this? How do we topple over from the careful balancing act we've created for our lives? How can we expend so much energy on things of little import? I have learned a very important lesson of humility and restraint.

I looked my credibility in the eye and apologized profusely. It stared back, gave me a nod and slunk back into its cave. Hmmm....Maybe I should go back into mine, too!

Ezine Excerpt: Birthday Bowling

For those of you who may not subscribe to my newsletter yet, here's an excerpt.

Article: "Birthday Bowling"

(c) 2006 Christine Louise Hohlbaum

If you want to experience true purity of heart, take a half-dozen seven-year-olds bowling. If you want to see divine light on Earth, watch their eyes as they knock down a few pins. If you want to witness the unadulterated human spirit, clap with them as they cheer, "You're the best!" when the littlest on the team bowls a gutter ball.

It didn't matter that most of them had never bowled before. It was Sophia's seventh birthday party and, by golly, they were going to overcome their uncertainty of the sport to celebrate their friend. Sophia had wanted to have her birthday party somewhere special. When we finally found a location that suited her, she had a hard time deciding who to invite. There was only room for six of her friends at the bowling alley. We made a list, then cut out cardboard bowling pins and balls to make the invitations.

"Do you think I should invite my best friend?" Sophia quizzed me. I tensed. What would her mother say if Sophia neglected to include her daughter? I imagined breathy, frenzied phone calls to discuss the matter, late-night visits to smooth things over and a behind-the-scenes argument that might damage our friendship. In the end, I convinced Sophia it would be a good idea to include the girl.

Other horror scenarios flashed before my eyes. What if one of the kids got knocked in the head by the 6 pound ball? Or one of them slipped? Or they started arguing and had a cat fight in the middle of the alley?

As the day approached, I grew more apprehensive. Children's birthday parties are admittedly not my favorite thing to organize. I never know if I've supplied enough food, the right kind or if it is entertaining enough to sustain the interest of a large group of children for several hours.

The moment the kids piled out of our cars and into the building, the most amazing thing happened. Each child got on her own bowling shoes, took care of her own things, and accepted the order in which each child would take a turn. No one complained.

The children stormed the alley, cheering a little louder each time a player rolled the ball down the waxy floor. For two hours, I witnessed these kids in all their beauty, compassion and love. They traded turns, not caring which score they got. They happily ate their pizza we had ordered, the muffins I had baked, and the drinks I had provided. No one argued. No one got hurt. One girl even bowled a strike.

As I humbly gathered our things at the end of the party, my daughter approached me with the widest grin on her face.

"This was the best birthday party ever, Mom. Thank you." She turned on her heel to join her friends who lifted her up as the Jolly Good Fellow of the day. I shed a tear at the beauty that unfurled before me. I never knew pure love could reside in a bowling alley, but there is no doubt that it did in ours that day.

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For the Love of Books

I read a super book the other day. You MUST get it if you're struggling with how best to approach literacy in young children. Here's my review.

Reading with Babies, Toddlers and Twos: A Guide to Reading, Choosing and Loving Books Together by KJ Dell’Antonia and Susan Straub

"Books as a Way of Life"

© 2006 Christine Louise Hohlbaum

For someone who grew up with Dr. Seuss, Winnie the Pooh and endless trips to the library, I have always appreciated a good book. KJ Dell’Antonia and Susan Straub apparently do, too. This comprehensive guide offers hundreds of book references and ways in which to use them to turn our children on to the written word.

From reassuring advice that all babies chew and throw books to useful tips on how to integrate our children’s TV diet with fabulous books such as Clifford the Big Red Dog and Thomas the Tank, the authors provide a palette of ways to tackle the topic of literacy. The book has a realistic, no-nonsense approach (most kids do watch TV; here’s how to support reading anyway). The book is geared towards parents who wish to relive their own childhoods through the books that carried them from baby to adult. While the focus is 0 to 3 years, this guide would be useful for librarians who wish to keep up with what the contemporary child and his siblings are reading. It is a fantastic resource for the new parent or grandparent who needs a little direction. The sheer breadth of books covered makes the book a little overwhelming at times. The best way to read it is to open to the chapter that interests you at the moment. It reads more like a travel guide than a cover-to-cover novel. It is exceptionally well-written, which substantiates the authors’ claim that books can broaden a child’s understanding of the written word at a young age.

I highly recommend Reading with Babies, Toddlers and Twos for parents who wish to foster their children’s literacy and intellectual development. Books are essential to that end. Thankfully, we have authors like KJ Dell’Antonia and Susan Straub who care as much as we parents do about passing on the tradition of cats in striped hats and tanks that talk.

How Exciting!

Today was declutter day. I dumped our junk drawer, threw out old dish rags, emptied boxes and yes, tossed Easter craft projects my kids had made. I blew out dust through my nose, snorting like a circus elephant as I dodged the four kids who ran through my house all afternoon. I lived large, but the day is not over.

I may not have made it onto TV yet, but I did make it on the home page of ClubMom today. You have to log in to see it. My contact sent me a screen shot so here it is. You will need X-ray vision to see it. That's me, the pipsqueek mug to the lower right of the picture. According to ClubMom, I'm their expert for the day. Now, if only my kids could become convinced of that!

MomMe TV has arrived!

I couldn't get the broad format to work on my blog, so I've created a Web page on my other Web site, http://www.diaryofamother.com. For all you moms out there who need a word of wisdom right now, this new Internet TV site is for you. MomMe TV is here!

Soul Twin

Yesterday I met my soul twin. Some days we vibrate on a spiritual level that allows us to see with such clarity as to know intuitively what will happen next. This week has been like that. Before I even met with her, I knew how the meeting would go. I had not even spoken with her directly, only with her personal assistant.

I recently made a declaration to let go. Completely. It meant letting go of a lot of expectations, most of which are around my books and how to reach people with my message of empowerment and hope. I realized I was forcing things to happen, and they simply weren't happening. To quote my good friend, Dr. Cherie Carter-Scott, I realized the strategy of "yeah, let's keeping doing what doesn't work" wasn't working. It's innately human to stay within the parameters of what we know. Stepping outside our circle of comfort is enormously threatening. I'm sure there are benevolent forces chuckling at our antics, at our toddler tantrums, even as we age.

My soul twin, Jeanine is looking to expand her team and circle of influence. She met me at a café near the Schloss Nymphenburg. It was the first time we had ever met, and yet within the first ten seconds, we connected. It was as if we were revisiting one another after a very long absence. Although she is Dutch and grew up in Germany, she was strongly influenced by her experiences in California. That I am American who is fluent in German is a plus. The similarities are incredible. We have led parallel lives and while some of the trappings of our lives are not the same, we have lived with the very same intention.

I think I have uncovered a new wisdom. It is intention that sets us on our path. The externalities of place, paternity or power are immaterial. It is the internal power that resides within us that opens our eyes to the spiritual realities unfolding in our lives. Meeting her substantiated my belief in outer forces that carry us through this world.

Strolling along the promenade, I was reminded of Boston, and it made my heart heavy. I was filled with a yearning to move forward in a way yet undefined. The great news is my letting go strategy is working. I no longer feel threatened by the Great Unknown. It is merely comforting to know I am headed in the right direction. It is a knowing, one that is felt with the heart, which is pure and connected to the guiding energy that propels us forward to fulfill our life's purpose.

FIFA 2006 Allianz Arena

Last night a soccer team made history, and we were there to witness it. It was a last-ditch effort by München 1860 to remain in the 2. League. Battling for the coveted space was Saarbrücken. They (S) lost. We (M) won.

What was most impressive about the Allianz Arena yesterday was its size. Open on the top, the arena looks like a giant quilted light bulb with a hole in the middle. The sun was beaming across half the grass. We were surprised at how small a professional soccer field really is. We were so close (9th row in the second balcony) we could actually see the ball! The last time we went to a soccer game in Munich was at the Olympia stadium, an outdoor stadium with concrete seats. WE FROZE! Okay so it was a cold November evening, not a warm day in May. Nonetheless, we give the new Allianz Arena, in which the FIFA World Cup 2006 will be held, a big thumbs up.

We left the game 15 minutes early, in part because the inlaws had to return home that evening and also to beat the 60,000 other people who wanted to leave soon, too. We were parked on the top deck of the parking garage. Thanks to my husband's driving prowess and my children's Herculean effort to keep up with the rushing adults, we made it home in 23 minutes!

Friends

Good friends are like good wine. The longer you have them, the better they get. I have received six phone calls today and one instant message, all from really good friends. The trouble is I had planned to spend my morning planning for an interview this afternoon. Every thirty minutes, the phone jingled. I got it each time, thinking it might be an editor or publisher who was in dire need of my attention. Turns out it was always another friend looking for a listening ear about this or that. And that's fine because that's what friends are for. Even on days when you really had planned to do something else...

Home is Where the Food Is

The moment the temps hit 60 degrees, my kids took off outside. I haven't seen them since. Well, not really. They come in for meals. But I have seen neither hide nor hair of them for the better part of this week. That their school only runs until 1 pm is immaterial. Straight after lunch, they're off on their bikes to the far corners of our cow town.

Sophia had barely finished her salad when her two school friends came a'callin'. They snatched her and my son as they rolled down our driveway towards the street on their bikes. The kids came back when they got thirsty.

Jackson ran into the house, grabbed some water, ran down the stairs to get his wooden sword and water gun, and ran outside again. "Bye Mom..." I heard his voice fade away like a police siren on prom night.

After two hours, I thought I might want to look into his absence. The neighbor was helpful.

"Oh, didn't he tell you? Jackson went with the other boys (four years older than him) to the forest." Lions and tigers and bears, oh my! He's in good hands, I know. The kids play well together, but I would have liked to have known where my not yet five-year-old was headed.

Luckily, his bodily functions will tell him when it's time to come home for dinner. Won't they?