Mama's Musings

Blind ambition

I had a giggle fit yesterday. Not the kind that makes you laugh under your nose and heave your chest for a brief moment, but the knee-slapping, I'm-going-to-get-in-an-accident-if-I-don't-pull-over kind of laugh attack. It wasn't a funny radio commentary or a newspaper comic that made me explode with laughter. It was me.

Since Wednesday, I had been feeling a little down. There was no tangible reason for my funk -- just a black cloud hanging over my head saying wicked things like "You loser" and "hey, punk, who bought you that jacket?" I even responded a few times to these insults, but the reaction was always the same. Wild, frivolous gaiety at my expense.

Not that I am crazy or anything. I usually have conversations with myself. We all do. But this week in particular I felt as if I had done so much and had little to show for it. It was a moment in which I asked myself, "What am I doing this for?"

We all occasionally slip up. I'm the first to admit it. But what I realized, what made me laugh so hard, was the fact that I am often blinded by my own ambition. I found myself fretting over four books I wanted to write at once, three translations I should have gotten done yesterday, two magazine articles that are within my grasp, "If I only work hard enough" and two children I am trying to raise with a value system that honors themselves and every living thing on the Earth.

It had gotten to be a bit too much. So I pulled over and laughed and laughed. What else could I do?

Join the club!

Fabulous news abounds these days. One of my dearest wordie chums (she's British, and yes, her speech rubs off on me!) has been appointed a TV presenter for downshifting, an act of leaving the rat race to a quieter life. For more on Tracey Smith, go here.

I've been appointed an official SAHM (that's stay-at-home mom for you cats who don't know) spokesmom at ClubMom.com, a National Membership Organization for Moms. When I approached ClubMom, I thought to add my next book, SAHM I Am: Tales of a Stay-at-Home Mom in Europe, to their site. They liked my background so much that they asked me to write for them! Come to find out the site was co-founded by ABC's The View co-host Meredith Vieira. My contact is a former Senior Editor for Woman's Day. Go figure. My dreams are coming true right before my eyes. I am humbled and deeply moved.

So join the club (It's free)! And get free coupons for your favorite products and bonus points. You can even buy my first book, Diary of a Mother, at ClubMom while earning yourself a bonus, too! It doesn't get much better than that.

Sand and springtime

We're back from our gorgeous jaunt into the wild, warm and wooly world of Fuerteventura. It was paradise -- an all-inclusive experience, meaning we never cooked, cleaned or paid a dime once we stepped foot behind the resort walls. The coffee was horrendous, so we did visit a café a few times. Funny though. I didn't need as much caffeine while on vacation. Maybe it's because we went to bed when the children did. I think I slept twelve consecutive hours the first three nights.

Here's a picture of our paradise fun. The dirt is very dust and lava-like. Not many trees, but they had a wet winter so it was greener than usual. We loved it! 75-80 degrees and sunshine alllll day! Couldn't you just dive into that sky?

Over and out!

This is my very last post. Until next Saturday. I'm going offline. On purpose. No laptop, no keyboard, no nothing.

"But you're a writer!" my friend gasped. I breathed quietly into the phone, almost missing a beat.

"I'll write with a pen and paper," I remarked. Astonished, she remembered the power of writing, not typing. We both sat in dazed silence for a moment.

"I don't think I remember how to hold a pen," she admitted ruefully. I assured her I would get lots of practice during my one-week vacation to the Canary Islands. She promised she'd try it out, too, in my absence.