Mama's Musings

When a Door Slams Shut...

There is a lovely saying "When a door slams shut, a window opens..." Pulling a back muscle which dropped me to my knees yowling this morning, riding in an ambulance to the ER, and finding myself surrounded by incredibly caring people, friends and strangers alike, I must agree. There are opportunities at every moment. We are challenged to see the positive in everything. What I learned today is "slowing down" often takes on a different shape than we think.

Thanksgiving was over; the Christmas festivities in my household could begin. My husband dutifully brought out all the holiday decorations we owned and stacked them neatly for the children to tear into. We said our goodbyes as he whisked away to work. It was only 8 a.m., and my children had already completed their first craft project.

It was to be a day of celebration, simply for the joy of celebrating. My children wanted friends to come over -- I was undecided. Having worked most of the weekend, I really wanted to enjoy them alone. As we sang Christmas carols and pulled out the manger from its tight box, I relived the sensation of labor pains -- only this time the muscle tightening came from my back, not my uterus. In a flash, my day stood on its head and waved to me.

"Hi, Christine," my day grinned. Having summoned my best friend, who, as best friends are apt to do, dropped everything and ran to my rescue, I was sitting on my exercise ball doing labor-breathing exercises and waiting for the ambulance which took a full forty minutes to arrive.

"What is this?" I scowled between clenched teeth, wiping away random tears and getting more and more furious as time went on.

"You thought you could spend me any way you want, eh?" my day continued, forcing a laugh from the hollow of its throat.

I glared at it, unable to retort.

"Not so fast, lady," it said. "We're doing this on my terms." For effect, I could feel my back muscles twist around themselves a further time. I yelped like a ten week old puppy missing its mother.

My children followed behind the ambulance. Luckily, my children thought the ambulance was cool. The chair they lifted me into was even more interesting, and my son especially liked the red swirling lights. A doctor met the ambulance en route, giving me a pain reliever via an IV. It was all so embarrassing and infruriating. As I entered the ER room via the nifty chair-like vehicle, I could hear my day whispering behind me.

"Enjoy your stay. It won't be long. Ten minutes, max. And don't forget to make your co-payment on the way out." I heard one last giggle and a popping sound. My day had moved into another dimension.

In fact, ten minutes and a few pain reliever shots later, I was following my overjoyed children, who found the coloring station in the waiting area to be a great treat, to the door. A taxi would take me home as my best friend's car was filled with four kids and a lot of spilled snacks.

"Ms. Hohlbaum," I heard a voice behind me. I wheeled around, fully expecting my day to be standing there, tapping its foot for another round of teasing.

"Yes," I hissed.

"You forgot to pay the bill." The one-armed assistant reached up for the 10€. In that moment, I was clear. Accepting people's help really is O.K. We all need a helping hand, sometimes more than others, sometimes less. I smiled as the first sliding door closed and the other one opened. When a door swishes shut...

Picasso and Puzzles

How much is too much TV? Does taking the kids to an art gallery to see paintings by Van Gogh, Dali and Picasso offset the two hours of TV they watched today? It is funny, really. My children are exposed to the fine arts, multicultural cities, European wonders, and live concertos. You’d think I would give myself a little break when it comes to flopping in front of the tube for 120 minutes.

We bought a puzzle this weekend. It is a tradition. I have written about it elsewhere (see “The Puzzling Life”). Every Christmas we break out a puzzle. My sisters and I hunkered over the card table for hours on end, telling our partners “We’ll be there in a minute. Just a minute. Okay, hold on now. I am leaving in just a sec…” Hours transpire without one of us moving. And, of course, there is the ceremonious jig when we’ve gotten a piece to fit in its correct slot. With two small children, we have ignored the tradition for five years. But not this year, baby. I purchased a 1000-piece Ravensburger puzzle that reminds me of a Thomas Cole's four paintings of the Voyage of Life. That and my grandmother’s house, once dubbed The Enchanted Cottage. Now how’s that for nomenclature? The picture is a bit fuzzy, or “Dewwy” as I like to put it. If you don’t hear from me for a while, that’s where I’ll be. By Christmas Eve, I should have perfected the puzzle hunch to a tee.

Ready, Set, Go!

This is the coolest Web site I have ever seen. Have a question about how to make a deck? How to decorate for the holidays? How to knit? It's all here on eHow. Now I don't feel so alone as I prepare for our very first Christmas in Germany without extended family. Pretty neat!

Because I love to share, I had to add how Germans celebrate Christmas. They start with Advent which runs four Sundays before Christmas. They count down the days with an advent calendar and the children have a great time. My husband and I have taken up jogging just to keep up with the increased caloric intake!

Spillage

We went back to toddler land today. It wasn't a subtle move by any stretch of the imagination. My five-year-old daughter toppled her full juice glass this morning. Delicious, bright orange multivitamin juice made like Niagara Falls down the breakfast table, onto a neighboring chair, and onto the freshly swept floor. Argh.

A repeat performance came at dinnertime. This time it was apple juice. Sticky, mucky, glue-like liquid oozing from the table, onto said chair, onto said floor.

In all fairness, I had broken a beer bottle earlier this afternoon. It felt like sacrilege. The beer came from the world's oldest monastery brewery (we are talking 1050 A.D. people, before, like, everything had been discovered!). Was it wrong of me to curse while I cleaned it up?

Relaxing Weekend with Sun...

It has to have been the most relaxing weekend in memory for me. The kids were well-behaved (apart from the screeching and my three-year-old digging his heels in at every opportunity -- normal kid stuff, nothing out of the norm). I didn't have to work, and the sun shone for the first time in two weeks. We voluntarily spent several hours outside, frolicking and enjoying nature. We baked Christmas cookies, and I did most of my holiday shopping. A few more items are on my list and then that's it! Nothing like actually enjoying the advent season without all the hectic. How about you?

Back to the Drawing Board

This is so much fun, pouring my heart out day after day in the written word. I don't mean this blog. I actually mean writing in general. I have three manuscripts, two of which are completely done. They haven't been sitting in my drawer, but I just found out they haven't been on my prospective agent's desk either. The small press with which I was going to publish the sequel to Diary of a Mother has been experiencing enough trouble to make me run for the door. So here I sit, a spooked, mourning writer, feeling terribly sorry for myself.

It may seem I have it altogether all the time, but the reality is I do not. It would be against my codex to appear like Ms. Perfect. Life is messy, unpredictable, and worth the ride. Maintaining a sunny attitude can help most days. Today I feel like being blue. I ask of you, dear reader, to send along some rainbows. I sure could use them right now.

Lesson for today: Gratitude

Gratitude isn't something easy to come by. In my family, we practice it daily. We thank God for our food, we try to remember to thank each other when we do something nice for one another, and we generally feel grateful for the lives we lead. We even have a gratitude tree with the handprints of our children and a list of the things for which they feel grateful on their hands. It is a beautiful reminder of what gratefulness in an open hand can create.

Whose kid is this?

When your child is born, relatives love to play the game of "His nose is just like grandpa's!" They ogle over the newborn babe, guessing what personality he will have, what shoes size he will wear on his wedding day, and the overall future this little bundle holds. As the child grows, people continue to play the game, but somewhere along the line the rules change. No one tells you when the rules switch, but it is generally around the time the kid learns that dropping a bowl full of spaghetti on your lap elicits the coolest reaction...

It's Snowing, It's Pouring

What's that white stuff falling from the sky? Am I living in the Arctic Circle? Admittedly, I have gotten into the holiday spirit a little early this year. I keep trying to force myself to slow down. First, Thanksgiving, then Christmas. Luckily, my kids like to do crafts usually. I might even squeeze another Pilgrim out of them this year.

It actually snowed this evening. I am in awe at Mother Nature's callousness. It was so beautiful when my kids started out on their bike ride. By the time they got home, they were soaking wet. When we had finally gotten them into warm, dry clothing, it started snowing like crazy outside. My oh my! Jingle bells, jingle bells...

Good Form

The snow from the snow-maker blew on our hair as we tapped our toes to the beat of the music. The pedestrian area in Ingolstadt was filled with merry shoppers, and the first mulled wine stands were erected in the town square. All that was missing was the Salvation Army bell ringing its perpetual song in the doorway of the department stores. The city has slowly transformed into a holiday paradise, and I wonder if the merchants will be tired of the red and green decorations by December.